No

On February 24, 2025, we asked Meduza employees to anonymously share their fears, including those that arose after the beginning of the full-scale Russo-Ukraine war. 48 people participated. Some of their answers have been edited for clarity.

I’m afraid of being powerless and unable to control my own life. I’m afraid of my loved ones falling ill.

I’m afraid of being raped. I’m afraid to return to Russia and get thrown in prison. I’m afraid of a long and painful death.

I’m afraid of torture.

I’m afraid that I won’t see my grandmother and grandfather again. I’m afraid I’ll never get back to my apartment. I’m afraid of loneliness because my favorite people all live in different cities.

I’m afraid that my hometown has become completely foreign to me.

I’m afraid of losing my loved ones. I’m afraid of terminal illnesses. I’m afraid of being left without work and without money.

I’m afraid that my mom will get searched or fired from her job. I’m afraid that my messaging apps will get hacked.

I’m afraid that I’m starting to forget Moscow.

I’m afraid of making a mistake that can’t be fixed. I’m afraid of becoming the reason my loved ones suffer or becoming the reason that strangers suffer.

I’m afraid of letting my wife down and not giving her the future that she deserves. I’m afraid of my children dying.

I’m afraid of cops and border patrol — all of them, in any country.

I’m afraid of conflicts and of making decisions. I’m afraid of sharp objects. I’m afraid I’ll become stupid and helpless. I’m afraid of uncertainty. I’m afraid of going blind.

I’m afraid for my safety. I’m afraid of losing the legal status that allows me to work in the EU.

I’m afraid that I’ll be unhappy at work but unable to leave.

I’m afraid of remaining eternally an emigrant, unsettled until the end of my life.

I’m afraid that in a few years there will be nowhere left to run, because there will be no democracy left anywhere at all.

I’m afraid that a rocket will strike a house where my relatives live — and that I’ll have to write the news about it. I’m afraid that I won’t make it to my loved one’s funerals, and I won’t even be able to say goodbye.

I’m afraid that we’re underestimating Putin’s madness.

I’m afraid of nuclear war.

I’m afraid that Russia will attack European countries.

I’m afraid that the world will never be normal again, or at least not for a very long time.

I’m afraid of no longer being a carefree person who feels young and beautiful.

I’m afraid that I won’t have time to build a life. I’m afraid that time will pass too quickly. I’m afraid of having a child.

I’m afraid of living life in vain, half-heartedly.

I’m afraid that the war will come to my home.

I’m afraid of returning to Russia and going to prison. I’m afraid of never returning to Russia.

I’m afraid of the future.

I’m afraid of losing my mind.